party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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