Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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