I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
