I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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