I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
