i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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