That's when you crack a 10am beer
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
