Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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