We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
