I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
