What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
