ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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