return my video game
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
