I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
