haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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