i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
