When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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