Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
