I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
