I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
