WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
