Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
