i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he fucked my hip out of place.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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