how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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