Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
