Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
