You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
