The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
