Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
