direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
