Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
