my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
