the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
