i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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