She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
