i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
