it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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