Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
