my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
