the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
