i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You took a bar mat shot.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
