Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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