Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
