R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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