There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
