no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
