Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
