Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
