Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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