Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
