So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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