You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
